Hogwarts Host Club
by Amortentia Veritaserum
Summary: Kyoya's father and Dumbledore THAT SLY DOG!  have decided that after the whole "Tamaki-almost-leaving-for-France" thing, maybe the Host Club needs a break... and decide to send them to Hogwarts. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hello and welcome to: Hogwarts Host Club~! This was waaaay too fun to write in my opinion, and I have no idea which pairings this will hold, but hey! Review! Give me some ideas~!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Wizarding World, JKR does, and I do not own OHSHC (Ouran High Scool Host Club), some Japenese Manga artist does.**_

_**Enjoy ^^**_

"Tama-kun, why do we have to go to England?" Honey said, making his cute eyes. "Why can't we just go to the beach like you said we would?"

"Yeah boss, you said beach." one of the twins said.

"This looks like mountains." The other twin informed them, his fingers splayed across the window of the scarlett steam engine as it chugged along.

"Don't go asking me!" Tamaki stood dramatically on the seat and pointed to the boy in the middle who was busy typing away on a laptop. "It was Kyoya's idea!"

"Is that true Kyo-kun?" Honey said, popping up over the top of Kyoya's screen.

"Yes." Kyoya said without moving his eyes away from the laptop screen. "My father and the headmaster of this school have an agreement. Neither would tell me what it was, but they told us we would be spending a year at this school." Kyoya paused in his typing. "And after the whole Fair fiasco, both my father and Tamaki's father agree that a little break from Ouran was in order."

"But all these people are commoners!" Hikaru whined.

"Yeah, there aren't any elite families here!" Kaoru agreed.

"Ever society has their own way to say Superior. We just have to figure out which is which." Haruhi looked up from the book she was reading as everyone turned to her. "Maybe if we look around, we may even find some more hosts at this school too!"

"How are we supposed to know, I mean look at them!" All of their eyes turned to the train corridor, where many kids in cloaks were passing. "And their fashion sense... horrible." Tamaki shivered.

"They're just uniforms. That's all." Haruhi said, adjusting her own Ouran uniform. "Their headmaster told us that these kids were part of some secret society remember? All that matters now is that we entertain the customers, right?" They all nodded like puppy dogs, all but Kyoya, who pushed up his glasses and continued to type. "So what is the first step?"

They all stared at her blankly. "The first step is to get customers." Kyoya said, still typing away. "We get our own wing of the castle, which we can make just like home."

"What are they going to pay with?"

"Don't they all use that weird occult money?"

"Those weird coins?" Hikaru and Kaoru said.

"I don't know, but we may have to... host for free." Everyone froze and turned to Kyoya as he said this.

"Free?"

"We've never done anything for free!" Tamaki said, his eyes wild. "As king, and Daddy, I will not allow it!"

"well, it's not really free is it?" Haruhi said, resting her head on her hands in deep thought. "It must cost them some money to move everything out of our wing and rearrange classes and everything. I bet technically, we're paying them back, and then the funds we get just go to us staying there, and pays for our food and stuff. It's just that someone else is doing the money counting other than Kyoya."

Silence met this, as they all took this in, before Kyoya clicked his laptop shut. "Alright then." he said. "I need to warn you. My father told me that everything that is electric will not work once we get there, my laptop, our cellphones, we will only be able to use them to call each other, no one beyond the boundries of this school."

"What do they teach here, anyway?" Hikaru asked, glaring out at all the people sneaking glances into the room. "Why do they have to be so far out into the mountains?"

"Magic." Mori grunted, pulling the blinds shut. The Host Club waited for him to elaborate, but as we all know, Mori is not big on words, and did not continue.

"Don't worry guys!" Haruhi said with a cute little smile and a tiny giggle. "It's an adventure! These girls won't know what hit them!"

In the great hall, Hermione was sitting with the rest of the Gryffindors when the new students came in, seven very attractive guys with good hair and nicely fitting blue tuxidos with a foreign crest on the chest. One was tall with dark hair and glasses, one had dark hair but had no glasses with a smaller boy who looked like a first year with blonde hair and a pink bunny on his shoulders. There was another blonde that was taller and looked older than the other blonde, two red haired twins that looked almost as mischievous as the Weasley twins, and a brown haired boy who was looking around curiously.

"May I introduce the hosts of Ouran Academy in Japan, who will be staying in the second floor coridor that once housed the Chamber of Secrets." McGonnegal said with a smile. "They will not be sorted, and will eat meals with us and may go to classes if they desire. They are here as guests, and I will assign a few of you to show them where to go." McGonnegal sat down and motioned for them to sit. Hermione's eyes returned to her food. She had began to eat when she felt a pull on the back of her uniform. She turned to find herself looking down on the smallest boy.

"Hi, miss! Can me and Takashi sit with you?" his eyes became adorably big, and Hermione found herself blushing as she looked up at the boy's huge shadow.

"Uh... I guess so..."

"YAY!" The little boy hugged her and moved in to sit next to her. The tall boy, Takashi, nodded to her and sat on the other side. "I'm Mitsukuni." the little boy said. "But you can call me Honey, and that's Takashi." The silent boy raised an arm before pulling food onto his plate. "But most of us call him Mori. Would you like to hold Usa-chan?" He offered her a pink stuffed bunny which she took.

The bunny blushed.

Hermione handed the stuffed animal back to Honey. "You should come by sometime!" Honey said, his eyes wide and ernest. "You can meet the others! Bring any other girlfriends you have!" The dessert appeared then, and Honey's attention was captured by the entire chocolate cake the house elves must have slaved over.

As Ron reached over for some cake, Honey stood up one the table and grabbed a fork. The cake was gone before Hermione could say Quidditch.

"Mitsukuni. Share." Mori said as he bit into a small apple.

"Oh... did you guys want some?" Honey's eyes became round and tearful. "Are you mad?"

"Nooo..." sighed the girls at the table as the boys became outraged.

"Mitsukuni." Mori said. "You have made them angry." He stood and picked up the young boy, who was pawing his eyes with his fists.

"It's ok Honey!" the girls cooed. Hermione's eyebrows furrowed, had everyone been paying attention to Honey and Mori?

No.

Over at the Ravenclaw table, Kyoya was intertaining the Ravenclaw girls by telling them all about his family business, and that they should come visit them in their wing when they saw the posters, and to tell any of their friends in other houses to come too.

"You can request one of the seven of us." He said, pushing up his glasses with one hand and smiling at all the ladies. "And spend one magical hour with them." Kyoya smiled an inviting smile. "Please, drop by soon." The Ravenclaw girls all nodded, each of them blushing furiously, except Luna, who wasn't paying any attention.

Over at the Slytherin Table, the twins were getting a welcome reception as they told their tales of mischif. "You mean you made them kiss?" Pansy said, her eyes wide.

"Yes." Hikaru said.

"A banana peel." Kaoru said. "It was all very fun."

"Was it more fun than that time you had a dream and we ended up cuddling?" Hikaru asked him.

A blush played across Kaoru's cheeks. "Hikaru! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone! How could you do that?" a single tear went down his cheek, and in a second, Hikaru had Kaoru in a loving embrace, their faces millimeters apart.

"I'm so sorry, Kaoru. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course." Kaoru said, his eyes sparkling, "I can never stay mad at you, Hikaru."

The Slytherin girls were all watching them with rapt attention, each of them blushing, with their eyes glued to the two boys.

"What's with everyone?" Draco asked Blaise hotly. "They're all over the new kids."

"I guess it's just cuz their new, right Pansy?" Blaise asked.

"Shhh!" Pansy shushed them, her eyes on the two. Draco and Blaise exchanged looks as the rest of the Hogwarts girls were transfixed by the Host Club. Draco noticed that Dumbledore seemed to be enjoying the festivities. Then again, Draco mused, the headmaster was gay, so that could explain that...

Over at the Hufflepuff table, Tamaki and Haruhi had the Hufflepuff girls all a-flutter.

"Would you like some cake, Tamaki?" one of the Hufflepuff girls said. When Tamaki turned his eyes on her, she started blushing furiously.

With a move that was much faster than should have been possible, Tamaki had the girl in an embrace, holding their faces close together. "Only if you'll feed it to me, Princess." he whispered. Every girl at the table, with the exception of Haruhi, automatically felt their hearts skip a beat. The girl in Tamaki's arms looked like she may faint.

"Would you like me to?" She whispered.

"Only if you promise to come to visit me... and bring some of your girlfriends..." Tamaki whispered, not breaking eye contact. He lowered his voice further. "Do you promise?"

"I... I promise, Tamaki." she said, her face redder than the Gryffindor crest.

"I'll await you, Princess." Tamaki said, and turned away from her, with a look of great sadness on his face.

"What about you?" one of the Hufflepuff girls said to Haruhi.

"Oh, I'm Haruhi." Haruhi introduced herself to the table. "I'm the newest Host, but I've been with them for a while." She smiled an adorable smile. "I had to pay off a debt, but found I actually like the family-like environment that the Host Club provided." Haruhi looked down at her plate. "You see, my mother died, and the Host Club really helped me out." She smiled again, the girls transfixed with the girl they thought was a boy. "I really do hope that you'll come visit us. Maybe I can introduce you to everyone!" The Hufflepuff girls nodded eagerly.

"I'll come see you, Haruhi!" one said.

"I'll come visit!"

"You can introduce me!"

"Wow." Haruhi's smile left her face to be replaced by a look of pure awe. Then the smile was back, drawing all the girls further in. "Thanks! I didn't think anyone would wanna spend an hour with little old me!"

"Of course we would Haruhi!"

"Why would you think otherwise?"

"I'd love to come see you!"

And so it came that almost the entire population of Hogwarts females were waiting on edge for the Host Club to open at Hogwarts...

_**A/N: I wrote this little thing because I'm bored and have an annoying bit of writers block.. Please leave a Review for me! I wanna know what you think!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: It is a lot of fun mixing and matching two of my favorite fandoms.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own OHSHC or the Wizarding World. JKR owns the Wizards and Witches, some Japanese manga artist owns OHSHC.**_

_**QUESTION: Does anyone know if the authors of FMA, OHSHC, and Hetalia are okay? I don't know if they survived the earthquake in Japan. PM me any information. Thanks.**_

_**Enjoy~!**_

"Tama-kun!" Honey sang, skipping through the Host Club's new wing. "How will we decorate it? What's our theme?" Mori walked behind him, looking like the big shadow he always did.

"We are going to make it just like the Host Club home!" Tamaki announced grandly. He swept his arm outward towards the empty corridor and rooms. "We'll transform it so that all the rooms run together and this hall way will be the waiting area." Tamaki said, producing chalk from nowhere. "See, we'll cut this, break down this, put a carpet here, and install windows." He began doodling all over the walls, drawing arrows and squares.

"Uh… boss? How will we do that? It's stone." Hikaru said.

"I don't think these Occult people will let us destroy their castle, just so we'll feel at home." Kaoru added.

"Nonsense! These people are here for our pleasure! They'll do whatever we say! We are above them, after all." Tamaki said.

"We're not above anyone here. They don't even know who we are." Haruhi said thoughtfully. "I bet they think we're below them, socially."

Tamaki retreated into his emo corner, a black cloud almost covering the entire area. He began to mumble. "Below these people" and showed no sign of turning back.

"I do believe there is an heir to the Malfoy Fortune here, at Hogwarts." Kyoya said, going through papers on a makeshift desk that would be moved later to the front. "If we can get him on our side, we will raise or status almost automatically."

"Malfoy?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked.

"Yes, he was at the Slytherin table with you guys on the first night. I'd like you to see if he's interested in becoming a host." Kyoya pushed up his glasses. "Everyone else, we need background information, and see if you can find us another place for meetings, seeing as they probably won't let us knock all this down." Kyoya looked at Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru, Mori, and Honey, each in turn. "I want it done before the King gets out of his depression."

Each of the lesser members of the Host Club left as quickly as possible. Who knew when Tamaki would get over this? The boy changed moods faster than a tornado spins.

The twins each headed for the Great hall, hearing someone say it that they were headed there, and joined a group of girls from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor.

"Hello, ladies." They said in union.

"Where is everyone going?" Hikaru asked.

"We feel as if we haven't been invited to something." Kaoru said a small frown on his lips. "We feel left out."

"Don't feel left out!" said one of them. She held out her hand. "I'm Romalda Vane, and I hope that you'll let me and my friends show you around." Hikaru and Kaoru took each of her hands and kissed them sweetly.

"Thank you, Romalda." They said in union. Romalda blushed. The twins followed the girls outside, where they were no less than interrogated by the creepy caretaker, and lead into the village.

"This is Hogsmeade." One of Romalda's friends said. "There are quite a few stores we can show you."

"Shut it." Romalda snapped. "Only I speak to them."

"No need to get excited, Romalda dear." Kaoru said softly.

"There are enough of us to share." Hikaru added.

Romalda turned red. "Of… of course, Hikaru and Kaoru." She said.

They walked on for a second before Kaoru and Hikaru shared a look and sighed together.

"It is so hard to remember everyone." Hikaru said sadly.

"I don't think we'll be able to know any of the boys." Kaoru added.

"Like, that blonde boy, what was his name, Kaoru?"

"Malloy, Mazoy… something like that…" Kaoru slowly.

"Malfoy?" Asked one of the girls.

"Yes!" Hikaru gushed

"That's it!" Kaoru said.

"Malfoy!" they said in union.

"What would you like to know?" Romalda asked as they passed the Three Broomsticks.

"Tell us everything!" the twins said enthusiastically.

Elsewhere, still in Hogwarts, Mori followed Honey with a blank look on his face.

"Come _on_ Takashi! There has to be a kitchen around here somewhere!" Honey said with a giggle.

"Ask someone." Mori grunted. Honey ran down a corridor to the right and took a fast left up a flight of stairs. Mori hurried to follow him, only to find the stairs moving.

"Mitsukuni!" Mori yelled.

"Don't worry, Takashi! I'll find a way back!" Honey said with a wave. "You just do what Kyo-kun said to, and find out about you-know-who!" Honey disappeared down a corridor, and Mori stood there dumbstruck, not quite sure what to do now, not that that showed on his face. Instead, he wandered through the hallways aimlessly, frowning slightly at the missing weight of a hand on his or a body on his shoulders. He'd never really liked his life without Mitsukuni, he realized. While thinking this, he bumped into another person, sending the other person sprawling.

Mori ran to help her up, and found himself looking at the same girl Honey had asked to sit with.

"Sorry." He grunted. He wondered what her name was.

Hermione was wondering the same thing. Which boy was this?

"Oh... Hello." She said politely. "Thank you for helping me up." He nodded mutely and looked away from her. Mori. That was his name. Hermione furrowed her eye brows and looked around him, noticing the missing boy almost at once. "Where's Honey?" She watched in horror as Mori's whole demeanor seemed to change, making him slump in apparent depression. "Sorry! Forget I said it!" He looked at her quizzically, and she sighed. "Do you want to go to the library with me?" Mori shrugged then nodded. "Alright, Mori, let's go." As they walked, Hermione found herself telling him things she hadn't thought she would. "I would be in Potions right now, usually, but I can't deal with Malfoy…" Mori's eyebrow rose, so she began to explain.

Down in the dungeons, Haruhi wandered into a classroom that was in full swing and sat in one of the back rows. The room was full of bubbling cauldrons, the students in their billowing uniforms working frantically over them.

"Come on class! A bottle of Felix Felicis is a ripe prize!" the man who seemed to be in charge said with a huge grin. He was on the heavier side, and seemed to be leaning on some of the other students more than others. He stumbled around the room, exclaiming at some potions and overlooking all others. Haruhi's eyebrows furrowed. Why was this teacher being picky?

As if he'd heard her thoughts, the professor looked up and saw her. "Oh ho ho!" he exclaimed. "If it isn't one of those new boys! I'm honored you decided to take the time to come to our little lesson!" All the girls turned to look at Haruhi, who blushed and looked at the floor. "Don't be bashful, boy! You're a women pleaser! I'm Professor Slughorn… Do you speak English?"

Haruhi looked up from the ground and glared coldly into Slughorn's eyes. He shivered without meaning to. "Of course I can speak English. I am not an imbecile." Haruhi looks around the room and smiled shyly at some of the girls, who were now leaning more toward her than their potions. "Will you show me what you're doing?" she asked with a little too much hope in her voice.

"Of course! Well, usually I would put you next to Miss Granger, but Mr. Potter informs me that she's sick right now." An odd little frown played across Slughorn's lips. "You may sit next to Mr. Malfoy." A cocky looking platinum blonde smirked at her and motioned to the seat next to him.

Remembering that she was a boy, Haruhi walked over and sat down next to the boy. "I'm Draco." Draco said. "Draco Malfoy." He said the last name like a curse, but then smiled to show he had no hard feelings.

"I'm Haruhi." Haruhi said. "Haruhi Fujioka." Draco nodded. "So, what are you guys doing?"

"We're brewing Draught of the Living Death. We get a bottle of Felix Felicis if we brew it the farthest." Draco explained, returning his attention to his simmering culdron.

"What?" Haruhi said blankly.

Draco glanced at the boy next to him, sure he was joking. Surely Japan had potions? "Draught of the Living Death? The sleeping potion?"

"Right." Haruhi said. He didn't sound convinced.

"Oh, I get it. You guys probably just call it something different in Japan." Draco said as he realized it. "Don't worry, you'll probably recognize it later. Would you like to help?" Haruhi nodded, so Draco explained what to do in a low voice as Haruhi complied. Without noticing it, they got closer and closer, their voices to a low murmur.

Then Haruhi remembered she was supposed to be a boy. She cleared her throat and smiled winningly at one of the many girls who kept glancing at her. The girl turned red and turned back to her cauldron in a hurry, trying to hide her face from Haruhi.

"How do you do that, man?" Draco asked. He was watching the blushing girl with a laid back interest that made Haruhi feel… odd.

"Oh, I'm a host. That's what we do." Haruhi said simply, adding the juice of some oddly named root to the potion.

"What's a host? I think Dumbledore said something about that when you got here…" Haruhi nodded and leaned closer. She began to earnestly whisper the happenings and proceedings of the host club.

"Do you want to join?" she asked him when she was finished.

Draco shrugged. "Will you show me?" she nodded. "Maybe after, if I like it. Then, I will."

Haruhi smiled.

Honey was skipping past a funny looking tapestry of a guy trying to teach some ugly fat men to dance when he bumped into a queer little creature that had large ears and eyes like globes. It was dressed in a multitude of sweaters, socks, and a tower of hats that made it look taller than it was.

"Oh, what are you?" Honey asked with a cute little frown.

"I'm a House-elf. My name is Dobby." The creature said in a cheery voice. "How may I help you?"

"Well, Dobby, I'm looking for someplace for me and my friends to meet, that has enough room for all of us, and can be transformed into whatever we wish… But I don't think there's any place…"

"Why, you're already here!" Dobby said. He turned Honey to face the blank wall on the other side of the hallway, opposite the odd tapestry.

"What are you talking about?" Honey whined. "This is just a wall!"

"It is no such thing!" Dobby said with a smile. "Watch this..."

And so The Host Club gained knowledge of the Room of Requirement.

Kyoya was in the library. He was skimming through the books faster than he would usually because he knew the rest of the hosts would be back at their place soon. He was contemplating picking up a book named _Monster Book of Monsters_ when a dreamy voice stopped him.

"Hello. You would not enjoy picking that book up. It bites." Kyoya looked beside him to find a pretty blond girl standing beside him, looking at the _Monster Book of Monsters_ with a glance that may have been wary, but may have also been excited, in an abstract way.

"Hello." Kyoya glanced at the clock. Tamaki could come to any minute, he really should get back, but him being a host and having a lady in front of him, he could not just leave. "My name is Kyoya Otori." He gave her a nice bow that she smiled faintly at.

"I'm Luna Lovegood." She said, her eyes rising up the shelves. "And those are my sneakers." Kyoya followed her eyes to find her shoes resting on the topmost shelf tied together by their laces.

"Why are your sneakers up there?" Kyoya asked curiously.

"Usually I'd say the Wrackspurts took them, but I do believe it may have been one of Romalda's friends. She has them take things from me all the time." Luna said this in such a way that made it sound like she was the one making fun of Romalda, and not the other way around. She sighed. "It becomes very troublesome to have to go and find my shoes everytime I want to go outside. They're never where I take them off." Luna pulled a stick that Kyoya had seen on almost every person in this school and pointed it at her shoes. "Accio."

The shoes fell off the shelf and Luna caught them. "I don't think it's very nice for them to steal your shoes." Kyoya said truthfully. "What if they hide it where you can't find it?"

"The only place I wouldn't find it is where I left them. I never look there." Luna sat directly on the floor and pulled on her shoes with a slow sureness. When she was done, she seemed faintly surprised to see him still there. "Don't you have to go see your king? Be off, then." With that she disappeared into the book stacks.

Kyoya looked after her. Luna Lovegood's father was the chief editor of a magizene, called _The Quibbler_. She could prove to be a powerful ally.

Soon all the Hosts were crowded in the main hallway of their wing again.

"Hey boss!" Hikaru called.

"We were just out among the occult girls…"

"And it turns out…"

"They know we're superior to them!" they said in union. This was enough to bring Tamaki out of his stupor. They agreed to discuss everything they'd found out after dinner, and left together.

The host club was getting ready.


End file.
